Why do people get caught up with narcissists so often, even when there are clear signs that they are trying to control them?
The subtle, effective, and deceptive methods of narcissistic brainwashing are intended to trap their victims in an abusive and flattering cycle.
Narcissists take advantage of people’s natural need for love, attachment, and validation by employing techniques like trauma bonding, charisma, gaslighting, and love-bombing.
These tactics cast doubt on victims’ judgment, making it difficult for them to trust it and become free.
Gaining an understanding of these strategies is the first step to healing and liberation.
8 Narcissists Brainwashing Techniques?
1. Trauma Bonding
The core of how narcissists trap their victims in an abusive and flattering cycle is trauma bonding, a theory that psychologists like Patrick Carnes have studied in great detail.
It’s a bond that forms between victims of narcissists as a result of the constant cycle of abuse, devaluation, and intermittent positive reinforcement.
It is extremely difficult for the victim to break free from this cycle because it forges a strong emotional bond between them.
What causes trauma bonding to occur? Fundamentally, it takes advantage of our innate desire for connection and attachment in humans.
When they first present themselves as the perfect partner, narcissists are skilled at creating a strong sense of bonding. However, this can quickly turn into a severe emotional roller coaster when they devalue themselves.
This inconsistent behavior sets off a psychological phenomenon similar to an addiction to gambling; the victim becomes hooked, constantly hoping for the return of their first loving partner, because of the unpredictable rewards following times of stress or neglect.
The biological reactions we have to stress, and reward are the basis of the science behind trauma bonding.
Our bodies release a variety of stress hormones, such as cortisol, during abusive cycles and then dopamine during times of reconciliation, which feeds back into the cycle.
The victim’s ability to perceive the situation clearly and make logical decisions about leaving is impeded by this biochemical roller coaster, which deepens their bond with the abuser.
2. Charisma
The charismatic nature of a narcissist is a major factor in their initial attraction. They seem enthusiastic, self-assured, and sensitive to the wants and needs of others.
Their deliberate use of this magnetic charm to entice victims into their sphere of influence is not accidental.
The principles of influence developed by Robert B. Cialdini provide insight into how narcissists manipulate others by using their charisma to initially appear appealing.
A narcissist’s charm can be dangerous because it can conceal their true motivations. Beneath their surface-level charisma and charm, they are laying the groundwork for manipulation and control.
Because of their charm, they are able to quickly learn intimate details about their target, which they can then utilize as leverage to manipulate, demean, and exploit.
The more endearing they seem, the simpler it is for them to weaken the defenses of their victims, making it difficult for victims to spot the telltale symptoms of manipulation.
3. Gaslighting
The narcissist’s most powerful tool for brainwashing their victims is gaslighting.
By weakening their sense of reality, the victim is made to doubt their sense of self, their memories, and even their sanity.
The systematic process slowly saps the victim’s faith in their judgment and reality as it starts mildly and intensifies.
Why does gaslighting work so well? It takes advantage of the human need for social environment validation and confirmation of reality.
The victim experiences cognitive dissonance, which is the state of having two opposing beliefs at once when a narcissist keeps disputing this reality.
The human mind seeks to resolve this extremely uncomfortable state, and accepting the narcissist’s interpretation of reality is frequently one way to do so.
The process can cause the victim to become more dependent on the abuser for validation and more cut off from their support networks, which can result in anxiety, depression, and a host of other psychological problems.
4. Love-Bombing
Love-bombing, a term that describes the first stage of idealization in a relationship with a narcissist, comes right after gaslighting.
Excessive adoration, affection, and attention aimed at making the victim feel special and unique are its defining characteristics.
The narcissist seems like the ideal companion during this phase, mirroring your deepest desires and forging an apparently unbreakable bond. It’s intoxicating.
The dark goal of love-bombing is to foster dependence.
The narcissist lavishes you with love and attention while establishing an unreasonably high bar for your relationship.
You are left longing for the intensity of the first connection when this level of attention inevitably decreases, which increases your willingness to put up with worse treatment in an attempt to recapture the initial high.
According to psychological research, love bombing is similar to the strategies employed by cult leaders to destroy a person’s identity and replace it with one that serves the needs of the group, in this case, the narcissist.
As a result, the victim’s needs and desires become secondary to the narcissist’s demands, leading to a one-sided relationship.
5. Flattery
Narcissists skillfully use flattery, a tactic as old as the conversation itself, to disarm and control their victims.
This tactic, which stems from our irrational desire for approval and respect, can be especially alluring.
Why? Because it speaks to our innermost needs to be recognized, appreciated and looked up to.
When someone shows us love and appreciation, it can momentarily boost our confidence and mood, which increases our receptivity to their influence.
Flattery has a deeper meaning when it comes to narcissistic manipulation than just making someone feel good. It’s a purposeful attempt to create a sense of obligation and debt.
This leads to a serious imbalance. Refusing to engage with the narcissist puts the recipient in a situation where it feels as though they are denying the very qualities that brought them praise.
6. Emotional Appeals
Narcissistic manipulation additionally depends heavily on emotional appeals, which take advantage of people’s innate capacity for empathy and compassion.
Narcissists are skilled at playing the victim and playing on your emotions to get you to feel sorry for them or give in.
This strategy turns our strengths into vulnerabilities by taking advantage of our innate desire to support and console those who are in need.
Why do emotional appeals work so well? They appeal to our basic desire to relate to and understand other people.
When someone confides in us about their hopes, fears, or sorrows, we naturally want to listen, understand, and be there to support them.
Narcissists take advantage of this reaction by inventing crises or feelings in order to control their victim into complying or to draw attention away from their dubious actions.
Emotional manipulation has a complex psychology. It requires an in-depth understanding of how human emotions are elicited and controlled.
Research has indicated that when individuals have an emotional bond with the person making the request, they are more likely to comply.
Narcissists are skilled at establishing these emotional bonds with others, but they only use them to further their agendas.
7. False Promises
False promises are a common tactic used by narcissists to keep their victims bound to them by evoking a cycle of hope and disappointment.
This tactic exploits our natural tendency to believe and depend on the word of people we care about, using it as a weapon against us.
False promises, which are intended to buy the narcissist more time and force their victim into staying, can take many different forms, such as promises of future happiness or promises of change that never happens.
Why do lies have such a powerful effect? They take advantage of our enthusiasm and our wish for a successful resolution.
We want to believe someone we care about when they promise something, especially if it fits with our aspirations.
This desire may cause us to lose sight of behavioral patterns that suggest the promises are unlikely to be kept.
8. Playing the Victim
Playing the victim is a skill that narcissists are skilled at using to deflect criticism from their own actions and win over people to their cause.
This kind of manipulation is especially sneaky because it takes advantage of the target of the narcissist’s empathy and compassion, making it hard for them to set limits or confront the narcissist.
Why is it that playing the victim is so effective? It makes use of the natural desire that humans have to assist those in need.
When a narcissist presents themselves as the victim, it can set off an automatic reaction in others, leading them to automatically step in and help, often at their own expense.
This strategy can also plant doubt and confusion, which makes it more difficult for the victim to speak up for themselves or refute the narcissist’s story.
This strategy comes from our natural desire to get along with others.
Because of the way we are wired to react to distress signals in others, narcissists take advantage of this wiring.
They can deflect responsibility, avoid punishment, and keep control over their target by pretending to be the victim.
Final Verdict
The variety of strategies used by narcissists to manipulate and trap their victims reveals an elaborate plan.
Comprehending these techniques, which include trauma bonding, gaslighting, and the devious use of flattery and emotional appeals, sheds light on the psychological environment that victims encounter.
Recognizing and educating people about this control is the first step toward its destruction.
People are given the ability to see through the manipulation, regain their independence, and set out on a path toward recovery and self-empowerment by bringing these evil tactics to light.
FAQ’s
What is narcissistic brainwashing?
Narcissistic brainwashing is a systematic manipulation technique used by narcissists to dominate and control their victims, often making them question their reality and sanity.
How do narcissists control your mind?
Narcissists control your mind through tactics like gaslighting, love bombing, playing the victim, and guilt-tripping, often leaving you doubting your perceptions and decisions.
How do covert narcissists create confusion?
Covert narcissists create confusion by subtly undermining your perceptions and encouraging self-doubt, often without overt blame or shaming, to gain leverage and control.
What are covert narcissistic brainwashing techniques?
Covert narcissistic brainwashing techniques include gaslighting, playing the victim, making false promises, and creating confusion through manipulative conversations and twisted realities.
