Why do narcissists use deception with an ex as a way to control you? This question emphasizes how strange their behavior is.
Using an ex-partner as a piece in a game meant to establish control, provoke envy, and preserve a power imbalance is known as narcissistic triangulation.
It’s a calculated action meant to undermine the confidence of the existing relationship while enhancing the narcissist’s ego.
This intentional deception satisfies their need for narcissistic supply, validates their dominance, and protects their delicate ego, among other goals.
Anyone involved in such a toxic relationship has to understand this dynamic because it shows that the narcissist’s deep-seated fears and need for dominance and control are the real problems, not the flaws of the victim.
Reason Behind This Odd Behaviour
Learning about the tricky dynamics of narcissistic relationships, especially the trick of manipulating others called “triangulation,” takes a thorough study of the mental patterns and behaviors that define narcissism.
Triangulation is a complex strategy used by narcissists to maintain control over their partner and to provoke envy. It involves using the ex-partner as a pawn in their manipulative games.
Fundamentally, the act of narcissistic triangulation with an ex-partner has multiple evil objectives, all of which are designed to enhance the narcissist’s ego at the expense of their current partner’s security and self-worth.
This behavior is not random or unexpected; narcissists do it on purpose to make sure they stay the center of attention, love, and jealousy.
Why do narcissists act in this way, especially when it involves an ex? The reason for this is their insatiable desire for narcissistic supply, which is essentially psychological fuel obtained from other people’s emotional responses.
The narcissist sets up a situation where they are the winner and the judge to impress by putting you up against an ex.
This rivalry directly nourishes their ego for their love or attention, which gives them the approval and validation they so desperately need.
This strategy also works to undermine your confidence.
When you compare yourself to an ex, who is frequently idealized or exaggerated in their positive traits, it makes you feel inadequate and driven to prove yourself.
The narcissist thrives on desperation because it binds your value to their acceptance and keeps you entangled in their deceptive web.
Plus, triangulation is a control mechanism.
The narcissist makes sure you comply with their demands and wishes by making you feel anxious all the time, as though you might be replaced or not good enough.
Whether justified or not, the fear of losing them to an ex drives you into a submissive role where appeasing the narcissist takes precedence over all other considerations.
It’s critical to consider the psychological effects of this kind of manipulation.
Narcissistic triangulation victims frequently suffer from excessive rivalry, low self-esteem, and increased worry.
If neglected, these emotional states can cause long-term psychological harm and be harmful to one’s mental health.
From a psychological perspective, the actions of a narcissist reveal a weak ego and a deep-seated insecurity.
Narcissists have a deep dread of being hated or unworthy despite their seeming confidence and superiority.
Triangulating you with an ex is a means for them to hide these fears from you by making them appear very attractive and in charge, even though, on the inside, they are anything but.
Emotional Manipulation
When narcissists use emotional trickery, they do it on purpose to make their victims insecure.
A narcissist’s attempt to control your emotions deeply is demonstrated when they include an ex in the relationship dynamics, not just to stir up jealousy or insecurity in you.
For the narcissist, the desired unpleasant emotion serves a twofold purpose.
First, it confirms their seeming authority and control over other people’s emotions.
Possessing the ability to influence another person’s emotions makes narcissistic people feel powerful and superior.
This skewed form of reinforcement boosts their sense of self-importance.
Their need for control results from a brittle ego and deep insecurities; by making you unstable, they may momentarily divert attention from these issues and feel more comfortable in their position of authority.
The narcissist’s dread of insignificance and endless search for affirmation are the driving forces behind their desire for such unpleasant reactions.
Narcissists, despite their confident exterior, are deeply afraid of being rejected, insufficient, or unloved.
They create a situation where they are indispensable, the puppet master pulling the strings of your emotional well-being by manipulating you into a condition of emotional chaos.
This deception validates their dominance over you as well as their essential place in your life, no matter how destructive that may be.
This conduct also demonstrates the contradictory nature of the narcissist’s self-esteem.
Even though they give off the impression of being confident, their self-esteem is quite brittle and depends on approval from others.
Understanding these tendencies and the reasons behind them is essential when dealing with narcissistic relationships.
It underscores the fact that the problem does not lie with the victim’s inadequacies but with the narcissist’s deep-seated need to manipulate and control to maintain their self-esteem.
By comprehending the rationale behind this conduct, people can start to separate from the harmful impact of the narcissist and recover their emotional independence.
Conclusion
When a narcissist triangulates with an ex, they use a complicated form of emotional trickery to stay in charge and boost their ego.
This behavior, which comes from their fears and needs to be in charge, can have extremely negative effects on their partners’ mental health.
The first step in removing oneself from the toxic dynamics of these kinds of relationships is realizing these tendencies.
Prioritizing one’s mental health and emotional autonomy over deceptive tactics and realizing the tactics at work are more important than engaging in a battle of worthiness.
In the end, realizing the motivations underlying narcissistic triangulation might enable people to recover their sense of self and proceed with fortitude.
FAQ’s
How do you handle a narcissistic ex?
The best strategy is to maintain no contact, assert your boundaries, and focus on your own well-being.
Why do narcissists stalk your social media?
They stalk to see if you’re struggling without them, using cyberstalking as a means to maintain control and satisfy their curiosity.
How can I move on from a narcissistic ex?
Implementing no contact, engaging in self-care, reconnecting with personal interests, and seeking supportive networks are key steps.
How long can a narcissist go without supply?
There’s no fixed duration; narcissists often juggle multiple supplies simultaneously and are always on the lookout for new sources.
