Can covert narcissists truly change? I’ve accompanied people on journeys of self-discovery and transformation through coaching and therapy, dispelling the myth that narcissists are hopeless.
Individuals affected with covert narcissism, as well as those close to them, face distinct difficulties due to its subtle overtones of superiority concealed by humility or self-deprecation.
Although the path to transformation is not straightforward, it is full of opportunities for significant personal development.
So, is it possible for someone who exhibits subtle narcissistic features to change? Yes, but it also calls for a strong dedication to self-reflection.
Is There Hope for Covert Narcissists to Improve Themselves?
To begin with, what do we mean by covert narcissism?
This type of narcissism is more covert and subtle, with characteristics like feelings of inadequacy, sensitivity to criticism, and envy of others. It is frequently concealed under a front of self-deprecation or humility.
The subject of change is complex, very personal, and demands the willingness to go on a difficult path of self-discovery. It is not an easy one to answer.
Can a covert narcissist change?
The response is complex. Change is feasible, but it comes with many obstacles and demands a strong dedication to self-improvement.
I’ve worked with people who, after receiving coaching and treatment, have begun to identify their narcissistic tendencies and have shown a sincere wish to change. The first and most important step toward change is this readiness to recognize their tendencies.
Why do covert narcissists find change so difficult?
Their lack of self-awareness or refusal to acknowledge the areas they need to change is a major obstacle. Anybody finds it difficult to face painful realities about themselves, but covert narcissists may find this process particularly difficult.
However, it is not impossible with the correct help and direction.
I place a strong emphasis on empathy, active listening, and the conviction that each person has the ability to change.
It takes more than just changing behaviors to address the underlying emotional demands that underlie them.
A covert narcissist can move away from manipulative or self-serving strategies and establish more authentic interactions with others by satisfying these needs in a healthy way.
Making a change is very personal and calls for perseverance, commitment, and frequent expert assistance. It is evidence of people’s adaptability and growth potential.
4 Signs That Shows Narcissists Willing to Change
1. They Start Taking Accountability
I’ve noticed that narcissists’ openness to accept responsibility for their conduct is one of the first indications that they are open to change.
This is no easy task. Imagine the bravery required for someone to begin owning up to their mistakes and the suffering they have caused after spending a lifetime creating a façade to support their frail ego.
This is an important stage that marks a turning point in their healing process.
A narcissist’s willingness to accept the truth about themselves and the repercussions of their actions can have a profoundly positive effect on both the narcissist and everyone around them.
It’s a step toward ending the hurt cycle and re-establishing trust. A client’s willingness to accept responsibility signals to me that real transformation is underway.
2. They Start To Pay Attention
When narcissists begin to truly listen to others, it’s another important indicator that they are willing to change.
People who exhibit narcissistic qualities frequently become so engrossed in their world that they lose sight of or disregard the needs and viewpoints of those around them.
However, when they start actively listening and demonstrating empathy and curiosity about other people’s experiences, it suggests a significant change in their perspective.
I’ve observed how relationships can be significantly impacted by this shift. It replaces one-sided encounters with respectful and understanding mutual exchanges.
It takes more than simply behavior modification to be able to pay attention and demonstrate empathy; it also involves altering one’s perspective on the world.
It represents the emergence of a more sympathetic outlook on their relationships as well as a better, more balanced sense of self.
Seeing these shifts might be encouraging and surprising for people who have been impacted by narcissistic behavior. It gives promise for happier, healthier relationships along the road.
3. They Are Consistent with the Efforts
Real transformation is woven together with consistency, especially for people who have narcissistic tendencies.
A narcissist’s steadfast dedication to self-improvement is a powerful indication of their readiness to change.
This does not imply flawless execution or a sudden change of deeply embedded habits. Rather, it’s about making a consistent effort to accept their shortcomings, ask for criticism, and use the empathy and understanding they’ve gained in their everyday relationships.
The difference between intention and actual change is consistency in effort, which indicates a genuine break from previous narcissistic practices.
4. They Consider your opinions.
An effective tool in any phase of growth is feedback. A narcissist’s journey takes a major turn when they begin to honestly consider the opinions of others around them.
This transparency shows a growing self-awareness and a willingness to comprehend how their activities impact other people.
To promote true change, it takes more than just hearing what people have to say; you also need to actively listen, consider, and incorporate this input.
Rebuilding damaged relationships and restoring trust may be greatly aided by this move toward appreciating and taking into account the opinions of others.
It is a sign of a narcissist’s dedication to personal development and relationship restoration to see them transition from defensiveness to openness in reaction to criticism.
How to Deal with a Narcissist who isn’t’ willing to Change?
It is quite difficult to deal with a narcissist who is unwilling to change. Setting up boundaries that are obvious and crucial, in my opinion.
Above all, it’s about safeguarding your mental and emotional health. Be clear and persistent in communicating your requirements and boundaries.
Recognize that you cannot make someone change; they must voluntarily desire to do so. If the behavior is abusive or harmful, it can be necessary to end the relationship.
Never forget that your health comes first. Getting treatment from a mental health expert can help you through this challenging journey and offer guidance.
Final Verdict
When investigating the potential for transformation for individuals struggling with covert narcissism, it is critical to approach this journey with compassion, resilience, and an open mind.
Making a change is an extremely personal process that calls for a readiness to face and alter deeply rooted thought and behavior patterns.
One of the most fulfilling aspects of my career has been seeing people move toward self-awareness and empathy.
FAQ’s
Can a covert narcissist be cured?
No, narcissistic personality disorder is considered a lifelong condition, though treatment can help manage symptoms and improve functioning in various aspects of life.
Is there any hope for a covert narcissist?
There is hope for improvement with years of psychotherapy, yet even with treatment, the fundamental characteristics of narcissism remain, making self-awareness and management key.
Can covert narcissists love?
Narcissists are capable of experiencing a form of love, though it is often superficial and lacks the depth of empathy typically associated with profound emotional connections.
Do covert narcissists know what they are doing?
Covert narcissists may not fully recognize their toxic behaviors or understand these actions stem from a personality disorder, highlighting the complexity of their self-awareness and impact on others.
