Have you ever considered whether that problematic co-worker, who always tries to steal the show, manipulates circumstances, and responds angrily to criticism, might be more than simply a pain in the head?
In the workplace, narcissistic persons can be challenging due to their signs, which include being sensitive to criticism, disregarding regulations for personal benefit, engaging in gossip, and having an insatiable desire for adoration.
Finding these characteristics in a co-worker may help you understand the complexities of your relationships and the larger dynamics of the team.
Signs of a Co-Worker Narcissist
1. They are Sensitive To Criticism
Have you ever tried to give a co-worker constructive criticism only to have them react negatively or even violently?
This response might suggest narcissism rather than merely being the result of having a bad day.
Narcissists create a flawless self-image to cover up underlying fears.
Their defense mechanisms, which include rage, denial, and perhaps retaliation, come into play when this image is endangered.
This has psychological roots in what Dr. Carl Jung called the “shadow self,” aspects of our personalities that we try to hide or reject.
Acknowledging one’s shortcomings feels like an existential danger to a narcissist.
This sensitivity threatens the cooperative and positive culture essential to a team’s performance, so it’s not simply a small annoyance.
2. They Encourage You To Break Rules
A narcissistic co-worker’s tendency to bend or break boundaries is one of their most subtle traits.
They frequently think they are superior to accepted norms and practices and that the goals always justify the means.
Their hunger for approval and success at any cost motivates them to act this way. They only think about their goals and have no empathy for other people.
The harm in this case goes beyond the obvious ethical issues; it damages team trust and may undermine the organization’s reputation overall.
3. They Gossip About Others
Within the workplace, rumors have the potential to be both a positive and negative relationship builder among co-workers.
In order to establish their control, sow division, and influence attitudes at work, narcissists utilize gossip as a tactic.
They take full advantage of the confusion that ensues, casting themselves as either the innocent victim or the savior, depending on what best advances their interests.
It puts them front and center, giving them the power to steer the story.
This kind of behavior can be very harmful in the workplace, where cooperation and trust are essential.
Spreading rumors isn’t the only thing involved; another goal is weakening others in order to boost oneself.
4. They are Extremely Jealous of You
Although jealousy is a common human emotion, it takes on a darker tone when coupled with narcissism.
Not only are narcissistic people envious of your accomplishments, but they also see your success as a direct challenge to their sense of superiority.
This jealousy frequently shows up as attempts to discredit your work, little digs at your achievements, or both.
Take the ground-breaking research of Dr. Leon Festinger on social comparison theory, which argues that our perception of our value as individuals and as a society is shaped by how we compare to others.
This contrast is distorted for narcissists because of their frail egos. They feel obligated to excel and be the most admired in every situation.
It upsets their self-concept as well as their pride when they witness your success.
5. They are Very Charismatic
Having a co-worker who has an almost magnetic appeal that captivates everyone around them means they are a narcissist.
Although charisma first seems advantageous, it is frequently a sign of a narcissistic mentality in the business.
Narcissistic people are excellent at constructing an engrossing character.
They have the ability to persuade, entertain, and engage.
Because of this quality, they are able to shape opinions, influence decisions, and frequently advance in their careers at a startlingly quick pace.
However, there is a cost associated with using charisma. It frequently acts as a diversion from their lack of compassion, sincere interest in other people, and moral compass.
It makes it possible to put up a front that conceals genuine motives and skews public opinion.
6. They Seek Constant Reassurance
A co-worker’s constant desire for approval and assurance is another indication that they can be narcissistic.
This could show up as an excessive concentration on titles and recognition, an unquenchable thirst for praise, or repeated requests for performance comments.
This can appear to be insecurity or a strong desire for perfection at first, but it frequently originates from a deeper neediness that narcissistic individuals have.
In my coaching sessions, I explore these tendencies and stress the difference between a healthy drive for personal development and the narcissistic need for unceasing praise.
No amount of affirmation or support will ever be sufficient since it doesn’t promote true self-improvement; rather, it helps to support a frail ego.
How to Deal with Them at Work
1. Involve the HR
Involving Human Resources (HR) is one of the first things you can think about doing when dealing with a narcissistic co-worker.
This is especially crucial if you’ve seen actions that go against corporate policy or negatively impact your workplace.
Recall that HR departments are prepared to handle these kinds of issues in a discreet and expert manner.
They can offer direction, resolve disputes through mediation, and, if required, start more official intervention procedures.
Why does this strategy work so well? HR specialists are prepared to handle a variety of problems that arise at work, such as harassment and interpersonal disputes.
They have the power to put solutions into action that people might not be able to do on their own, and they recognize how important it is to keep a healthy work environment.
2. Don’t Engage in Gossip with Them
Gossip is a common tactic used by narcissistic people to influence and shape the narrative at work.
By acting in this way, you put your ethics and professional reputation in danger, in addition to feeding their craving for domination and attention.
Here, it’s important to avoid giving them the tools they need to accomplish their goals.
Instead, make an effort to always project in a professional manner.
Redirect narcissistic co-workers’ attempts to get you into gossip or derogatory discussions about other people by gently but firmly bringing the issue back to work-related matters.
This strategy makes it very evident that you have no interest in taking part in destructive or ineffective conversations.
Spreading rumors can have serious repercussions, particularly when it involves someone who has a propensity to influence other people.
3. Let Your Boss Know
It’s important to talk to someone about your issues with a narcissistic co-worker when they start to interfere with your career or your mental health.
Notifying your manager about the matter is a step that takes thought and occasionally guts.
This is why it’s critical: your supervisor has the power and supervision to handle the matter in a way that upholds the team’s integrity and guarantees a productive work environment.
Why is this relevant? One of a leader’s main responsibilities is to promote a positive team dynamic and reduce situations that could jeopardize cohesiveness.
You are protecting the interests of the team and the larger company by bringing the matter to their attention in addition to your own.
4. Document Everything
It might be quite helpful to keep thorough notes of all conversations, projects, and occurrences if you are working with a narcissistic co-worker.
This is about maintaining a professional log that can act as an objective record in the event that the situation gets out of hand or calls for a formal review, not about keeping a personal journal of complaints.
In what way does this assist? Initially, it offers precision and lucidity when addressing the concerns with HR, your supervisor, or in any official mediation procedure.
It changes the subject from arbitrary beliefs to actual, time-stamped occurrences.
Second, it can be used as a personal reference to evaluate circumstances again and make sure your memories and answers are correct.
Verdict
It takes a well-balanced strategy of awareness, setting limits, and asking for help to deal with a narcissistic co-worker.
It’s critical to notify HR when appropriate, avoid gossip, communicate your concerns to your supervisor, and carefully record all conversations.
In the face of narcissistic conduct at work, you may preserve your well-being and professionalism by implementing these tactics.
FAQ’s
How do narcissists act at work?
Narcissists at work often take undue credit for others’ work, obsess over status, and lack empathy, showing little regard for the consequences of their actions.
Can someone have narcissistic tendencies but not be a narcissist?
Yes, it’s possible to exhibit narcissistic traits without meeting the full criteria for Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD).
How to spot a narcissist?
Narcissists display a grandiose sense of self-importance, live in a fantasy world, need constant admiration, feel entitled, exploit others, and demean or belittle those around them.
How to break a narcissist’s mind?
To impact a narcissist, focus on your happiness, flaunt your successes, set boundaries, ignore their manipulations, stay calm, and, if possible, cut off contact.
