For some reason, when it comes to a narcissistic mother, silence seems to be stronger than words.
Many people can become confused and emotionally upset when a narcissistic parent, especially a mother, doesn’t communicate with them via phone, text, or any other means.
Silent treatment is a pattern of behavior used to manipulate emotions to establish control and get a particular response.
It stems from the narcissist’s ingrained fears and their paradoxical need for continual affirmation, which is manifested through communication blockage.
Why Is She Ignoring Me?
The behavior of a narcissistic mother who refuses to make eye contact with her children can be confusing and extremely damaging.
Many people are left in a state of perplexity and mental chaos by his pattern of behavior, which frequently shows up as an obvious lack of phone calls, texts, or any other kind of communication.
People who are narcissistic have a delicate ego that they have carefully crafted to cover up their underlying fears and self-doubt.
Because of their fragility, they need other people’s unwavering approval and affirmation in order to keep their self-esteem intact.
Yet, it is precisely this need for outside approval that prompts people to refrain from speaking or to use the “silent treatment.”
It’s a control tactic meant to provoke a particular reaction in the recipient, frequently leaving them perplexed about what they did wrong to warrant such treatment.
Dr. Karyl McBride, a specialist in narcissistic behavior, claims that this tactic is one of the narcissist’s tools for establishing control and domination over their children, who are seen as their “adversaries.”
It is not an accident that there is no communication; rather, it is an intentional attempt to make the recipient feel desperate and unimportant.
The silent treatment is a psychological tactic used to make you doubt your value and maintain a constant sense of uncertainty, not only avoidance.
It’s not that your narcissistic mother has forgotten you or doesn’t value you in the traditional sense when she doesn’t pick up the phone.
Instead, it’s an expression of her desire to be noticed and important. The narcissist’s constant demand for attention and their fear of being abandoned are the fundamental causes of this dynamic.
Why would a mother, who is supposed to represent unwavering love and support, use such strategies?
Instead of seeing encounters as chances for growth and mutual exchange, they see them as ways to assert their dominance and superiority.
Their behavior is driven by this warped mentality, which makes even basic communication into a combat zone from which only they can win.
What is this Silent Treatment?
The phrase “silent treatment,” which is frequently spoken about in conversations concerning interpersonal conflict, has deeper and more unsettling connotations when it results from a narcissistic parent’s actions.
This type of psychological isolation goes beyond simple communication breakdown; it’s a purposeful, planned tactic meant to impose control, arouse emotions of worthlessness, and undermine the recipient’s mental stability.
But why do narcissistic people use this strategy, especially parents? There are several reasons why a narcissist may use the silent treatment.
It serves primarily as a kind of emotional leverage. The narcissist makes it apparent that they are unhappy with you and that you are not worthy of my attention unless you change your conduct to my satisfaction by refusing to communicate.
This strategy preys on the fundamental human need for acceptance and connection, which is especially strong when it comes from a parent.
One cannot overstate the psychological toll that such action takes.
Confusion, worry, rage, and deep sadness are just a few of the negative emotions that the silent treatment can set off in the recipient.
These emotions have the potential to undermine one’s self-worth over time, creating a crippling cycle of insecurity and desperate need for the narcissist’s acceptance.
This dynamic is startlingly powerful because it keeps the victim trapped in a toxic relationship and makes them constantly look to someone who can’t really help them emotionally.
The stakes are much higher when a mother and child are involved.
The mother figure, who is typically thought of as a source of unwavering support and affection, turns into a source of psychological suffering.
Regardless of age, the child may come to believe that their value is dependent on their narcissistic mother’s whims.
Because the foundation for love and connection has been corrupted by manipulation and conditional acceptance, this can have a significant negative impact on an individual’s capacity to build healthy, reciprocal relationships in the future.
Negative Bias
A major factor in the dynamics of narcissistic behavior is negative bias.
It describes a tendency to ignore the positive or neutral components and instead concentrate on the negative aspects of persons or events.
This tendency is a strong force that affects perception, interaction, and the dynamics of relationships rather than just being a harmless preference.
But why does this negative bias appear to be so strong in narcissistic people, especially moms?
The narcissist’s fragile sense of self-worth is the basis of the problem.
Narcissists conceal deep vulnerabilities and fears behind an exterior of superiority and assurance.
These fears fuel an incapacity to accept criticism or perceived slights and a persistent demand for approval and affirmation.
A narcissistic mother’s negative bias is a psychological defensive mechanism, a preemptive attack against perceived challenges to her precarious self-esteem.
She tries to regain control and validate her superiority by concentrating on the negative, criticizing, and frequently giving silent treatment.
Her actions are a reflection of her inner turmoil, as she projects her fears onto everyone around her, especially her kids.
This prejudice influences the narcissistic mother’s perception of and interactions with her child; therefore, it is not a standalone phenomenon.
The child’s actions and words are all viewed through this negative lens, which causes misunderstandings and overreactions.
The mother can see well-intentioned remarks as assaults, generosity as force, or independence as rejection.
This misguided view feeds a vicious circle of emotional blackmail, and the silent treatment is one of her most effective tools.
It’s important for those who are being treated poorly by their narcissistic mother to recognize the part that negative bias plays in her actions.
It provides a framework for understanding behaviors that don’t seem to make sense, such as withholding communication or affection.
Acknowledging that the mother’s personal insecurities, rather than the child’s shortcomings, are the source of this behavior can be a strong first step toward emotional release.
Should I Depend On Her?
Reliance on a narcissistic mother can be a never-ending journey to find love and acceptance that might never finish the way you deserve or hope.
Even though it is painful, this realization is essential to independence.
It begs the question: In the face of a relationship this complicated, how can you foster resilience and independence?
Developing emotional independence calls for a diversified strategy. Setting limits is the first step, which in the context of parent-child relationships may seem strange or even taboo.
However, boundaries are declarations of respect for oneself and self-care rather than walls that separate people.
They allow you to safeguard your mental health and develop a feeling of independence.
Sharing your experiences in therapy, support groups, or conversations with close friends can provide fresh insights and validate your emotions.
It’s important to have a support system outside of narcissistic relationships.
Finding someone who can provide the compassion, understanding, and constant encouragement that the narcissistic mother might not be able to is essential.
This outside assistance can be a lifesaver, providing affection and affirmation that increase your feeling of value.
You may become more resilient and independent by doing things that feed your body, mind, and soul.
Self-care, whether it takes the form of engaging in hobbies, practicing mindfulness, or just giving oneself occasional breaks, is a crucial component of recovery from narcissistic abuse.
Final Verdict
Individuals might be empowered to establish limits and seek support when they acknowledge that the narcissist’s biases and silent treatment are simply an expression of their insecurities.
First steps towards recovery include:
- Developing a network of support.
- Choosing not to communicate.
- Practicing self-care to cultivate emotional independence.
Despite its difficulties, this path leads to emotional freedom and the potential to build stronger, more mutually beneficial relationships.
FAQ’s
What is no contact with a narcissistic mother?
‘No contact’ is a firm boundary set to protect oneself from a narcissistic parent’s harmful behaviors, possibly extending to other family members involved.
How do you outsmart a narcissistic mother?
Set healthy boundaries, remain calm, and plan your responses to avoid emotionally charged confrontations with a narcissistic mother.
Why doesn’t my mom call me anymore?
Your mom may not call if there’s been a distance in your relationship, fearing intrusion or believing you’re uninterested in communication.
Do narcissistic mothers ignore their children?
Yes, narcissistic mothers may ignore their children as neglect is common, affecting the child’s emotional, physical, and psychological development adversely.
