Why does a narcissist label others as narcissists?
This conduct is based on a psychological defense mechanism called projection, which goes much deeper than irony.
Because of their exaggerated sense of self-importance and lack of empathy, narcissists frequently find it difficult to accept the imperfections in themselves.
What do they do then? They accuse others of having their characteristics by projecting their characteristics onto them.
The Reasons
1. Denial
The narcissist uses denial as an escape from the harsh realities of their behaviors and characteristics.
It’s a psychological wall that protects people from the vulnerability that comes with self-reflection. Why are narcissists so stubborn in their denial?
Taking responsibility for their mistakes would cause their inflated self-image to crumble, revealing their deep fears.
The idea of using denial as a defensive tactic is not new.
This concept was first presented to us by Freud, who demonstrated how people shield themselves from painful realities.
When it comes to narcissism, denial is a fundamental part of one’s self-concept, not only a defense against outside criticism.
Narcissists can maintain the appearance of their superiority by rejecting their flaws and blaming others for them.
2. Gaslighting
Gaslighting is a more complex form of deception.
By casting doubt on the victim’s memory, perception, and sanity, this devious tactic makes them mistrust their own experiences.
Why is gaslighting a fundamental tool in the toolbox of a narcissist? They can change reality in this way, preserving their appearance of infallibility.
It’s not simply a narcissist trying to shift the blame when they call you out for being narcissistic. They are trying to undermine your self-esteem and warp your understanding of reality.
By portraying oneself as the victim rather than the offender, this strategy guarantees that they maintain power.
Not only is gaslighting destructive, but it’s also confusing. Gaslighting victims frequently begin to doubt their sanity because they are confused about what is true and what has been deceived.
This psychological manipulation is especially sneaky because it erodes the victim’s faith in their judgment, further isolating them and increasing their reliance on the narcissist’s perception of reality.
3. Projection
Freud coined the term “projection,” a protective mechanism in which people project their negative emotions or characteristics onto others.
It’s similar to seeing someone else’s reflection in a mirror.
In addition to using projection as a defense mechanism for their delicate egos, narcissists also utilize it as a tool to deceive and manipulate their targets.
Why do narcissists make others suffer from their flaws? Fundamentally, projection is a way for them to avoid facing their inner turmoil by projecting it onto someone else.
Narcissists’ sense of self-worth comes from believing they are better than everyone else and perfect, so accepting they have flaws or made mistakes is very offensive to them.
A narcissist is simply observing their reflection in another when they label them as such.
This action accomplishes three goals: it deflects criticism from their actions, erodes the other person’s trust, and releases them from all accountability.
But it’s not just that. This strategy also contributes to their victim narrative, which is an ironic turn given their habit of victimizing others.
This kind of behavior can be especially harmful since it can confuse the accused and even cause them to doubt their sanity.
This uncertainty gives the narcissist more leverage and strengthens their hold on the victim.
4. Attack
The idea of attacking to defend oneself might appear illogical at first.
But in the mind of a narcissist, it has two functions: it shields their weak ego and allows them to project their fears onto other people.
Why is this a strategy used by narcissists so often? It all comes down to their two main fears: exposure and vulnerability.
The intense need to uphold a facade of superiority and perfection is typically the driving force behind narcissists.
They are intolerant of any challenge to their meticulously constructed self-image, which prompts them to take proactive measures to neutralize potential dangers.
It’s not only about avoiding criticism for this behavior; it’s also about keeping control over their story and, consequently, the people in their immediate vicinity.
A narcissist who attacks is not just responding to what is happening.
This could be overt hostility or subtle manipulation like smear campaigns or gaslighting.
The same goal is usually pursued: to damage the other person’s reputation and self-worth to divert attention away from possible criticism.
5. Lack of Empathy
What unites us and fosters strong bonds and respect for one another is empathy, the capacity to comprehend and experience another person’s feelings.
It goes beyond simply identifying feelings to truly feel with someone, put yourself in their position, and see the world from their perspective.
Emotional intelligence is essential to happy, caring relationships.
But narcissists see the world differently. Not only is their seeming lack of empathy a sign of a failure to connect, but it’s a basic aspect of their psychological make-up.
This is not to suggest that they cannot identify other people’s feelings.
Although some narcissists are skilled at interpreting emotions, they manipulate rather than connect with others using this ability.
This lack of empathy stems from a variety of intricate aspects, such as specific childhood experiences, innate personality traits, and, potentially, variations in the way neurons function.
6. Blame Shifting
Narcissists use blame shifting as a kind of self-defense to transfer accountability and attention from themselves to other people.
It’s a psychological “sleight of hand,” an attempt to change the story so that the narcissist comes out on top, no matter what the facts are.
However, why do narcissists act in this way? Blame shifting is fundamentally a result of the narcissist’s unwillingness to own up to their flaws and mistakes.
They have a delicate self-image thus it becomes necessary to avoid taking responsibility for anything.
For the narcissist, accountability is a death sentence.
It is unbearable to think about living with the consequences of their deeds and being perceived as imperfect.
They thereby create a different world in which they are never the villain but rather always the victim or the hero. So, assigning blame is not only a strategy; they need to maintain their ego.
How To React
1. Ignore Them
Ignoring a narcissist is an intentional choice, a way to set an emotional boundary rather than a sign of passive submission.
It’s obvious when a narcissist attempts to project characteristics onto you to manipulate and unsettle you.
Ignoring them is not a sign of indifference; rather, it means you refuse to participate in a conflict in which the odds are stacked against you.
Acknowledge their strategies as attempts to trap you in their drama.
Recognize that their actions reflect their shortcomings and fears, not yours.
Restrict your reactions to required and neutral communication, particularly when total disengagement isn’t possible for contextual reasons.
2. Believe In Yourself
The key to enduring narcissistic abuse is having a strong sense of self.
The narcissist’s attempts to create doubt and self-pity are repelled by this inner conviction, which serves as armor.
Keep in mind that their goal is to project their characteristics onto you to escape having to face their flaws.
It is a violation of their narrative to believe in oneself.
Developing self-awareness: Recognize your ideals, strengths, and the truth about your intents and behaviors.
Validating your experiences: Even if someone challenges your views or emotions, you should still have faith in them.
Self-compassion: Show yourself the same consideration and tolerance that you would show a friend.
Final Verdict
It takes bravery, self-awareness, and strategy to deal with a narcissist.
You handle this difficult path with elegance and resiliency when you choose to ignore their provocations and develop a firm faith in yourself.
Recall that the objective is to protect yourself and come out stronger, maintaining your sense of self rather than to change the narcissist.
FAQ’s
Is it common for a narcissist to call others a narcissist?
Yes, narcissists often project their traits onto others, accusing them of being what they are themselves.
Does a narcissist accuse others of being a narcissist?
Indeed, accusing others of being narcissistic is a typical projection tactic used by narcissists.
What happens when a narcissist is called a narcissist?
Calling a narcissist out typically results in aggressive denial or backlash, as it threatens their self-image.
How do narcissists view other narcissists?
Narcissists in a relationship tend to engage in a power struggle, each trying to manipulate the other while denying their manipulation.
