When a narcissist ignores you, it’s not an innocent mistake; rather, it’s an intentional choice.
There are several benefits to this purposeful act of quiet, sometimes referred to as the silent treatment.
It’s primarily a power play meant to control you and cause you to doubt your value and sanity. Narcissists cause confusion and worry by withholding their attention, which makes you want to seek their validation and acceptance.
The Reasons for Their Ignorance
You might wonder why narcissists ignore other individuals. It’s an intentional choice rather than just a random one.
Power and control are what narcissists love to have. They demonstrate this power by ignoring you, which makes you start to doubt your value.
In psychology, this phenomenon is explained by Operant Conditioning. They condition their attention to your self worth. If they ignore you, you might feel worthless and this is what keeps you dependent on their attention.
Their occasional attention is a psychological abuse which messes with your nervous system. It’s a kind of emotional blackmail meant to elicit vulnerability and a need for their acceptance.
Based on my observations, it appears that this strategy is frequently employed to uphold authority within the partnership. They try to hold control over your sense of worth.
But it’s not just that. Despite their seeming confidence, narcissists are deeply insecure people. By making the other person feel insecure instead, ignoring someone enables them to cover up their fears and feel superior.
It’s an unhealthy kind of self-preservation that deflects criticism from their shortcomings.
How To Break Away From Their Ignorance
1. Set Boundaries
I’ve discovered how crucial it is to establish boundaries with these people. Why is this so important? The cornerstone of self-care and self-respect is setting boundaries.
They send a message to the narcissist about what is and isn’t acceptable, but they also send a message to us.
Establishing limits is not an attempt to change the other person; that’s a difficult war we’re not likely to succeed in.
It has to do with determining our boundaries and what we will accept.
How can we go about doing this? Start by outlining your boundaries precisely.
Saying, “I’m not comfortable with this conversation, and I need to step away,” could be the simplest approach to do this.
2. Don’t React
Provoking a response is a popular strategy employed by narcissists.
They take great pleasure in creating drama and stirring strong emotions.
My recommendation? Avoid giving them the upper hand. It’s important for your mental health, but it’s easier said than done.
I intend to emphasize that you should remain emotionally composed when I say don’t react.
Breathe deeply and tell yourself that their actions reveal more about them than about you if they choose to ignore you or try to wound you with cruel remarks.
You’re depriving them of the narcissistic fuel they need when you refuse to give them the response they want. It’s a way of regaining control and lessening their impact on your feelings.
Detachment is a sign that you’re putting your health first, not that you don’t care.
It’s important to acknowledge their behavior without allowing it to control your feelings or course of action.
3. Don’t Play Their Dirty Games
Avoid giving in to their deceptive behavior. Why am I emphasizing this? Because playing their psychological games provides them with control and a feeling of superiority, which is exactly what they want.
How are these pitfalls avoided? It’s important to first acknowledge the nature of the game. Narcissists take great pleasure in arousing strong emotions.
They could purposefully provoke you or choose to ignore you. They succeed if you react in an emotional way.
Thus, I would advise you to remain emotionally detached.
Well, it’s easier said than done. Still, it’s quite important. Imagine viewing their behavior objectively and from a distance.
You’re removing yourself from their emotional game and maintaining your tranquility by refusing to give them the response they want.
Recall that your power is in how you respond.
Opt to respond rather than to react.
This attitude change is immensely freeing. It enables you to see their actions as a window into their problems rather than an assessment of your value.
4. Get Professional Help
Anyone having a relationship with a narcissist should seek expert assistance.
Why? Due to the fact that these dynamics can be complex, it is often necessary to seek advice from someone who can provide solutions and insights specific to your circumstance.
I work with individuals to unpack the layers of their experiences, providing a supportive space to understand and heal from the emotional wounds inflicted by narcissists. We look for trends, establish limits, and create empowering coping mechanisms.
Blocking Their Mind Games
Recognizing the strategies used by narcissists is the first step towards countering their mind games.
Control and the chaos they generate around them are what they feed on.
You can start to undermine these games’ hold over you by realizing what they are, which is a desperate attempt to maintain a façade of supremacy.
Why do they provoke you or ignore you? It’s a tactic to instill feelings of insecurity in you in order to capture your interest and reinforce their importance in your life.
1. Maintain Emotional Neutrality
It’s best, in my opinion, to watch them work as if you’re not there. They get their desired victory when they react emotionally.
Rather, react in a composed and confident manner. It’s your answer, not your emotion that gives you power.
2. Set Boundaries Firmly
Express your boundaries in a clear and consistent manner. Setting boundaries is about managing your relationship with the narcissist, not about controlling the narcissist.
Their games become less potent when they know that you are unaffected by their strategies.
3. Look for Assistance
You don’t need to handle this by yourself. Speak with a coach or therapist who is knowledgeable about narcissistic tendencies.
4. Educate Yourself
Power comes from knowledge. Recognize the psychological bases of narcissism.
This knowledge clarifies their actions and gives you the ability to emotionally distance yourself from their manipulations.
5. Practice Self-care
Put your health first. Taking part in things that make you feel good about yourself and happy will protect you from the damaging effects of narcissistic mental games.
Recall that taking care of yourself makes a strong statement about your value.
Final Verdict
Maintaining your mental health and well-being depends on your ability to recognize and counteract the mind games that narcissists perform.
You can defend yourself against their deceptive strategies by being emotionally neutral, establishing firm boundaries, asking for help, learning about narcissism, and placing a high priority on self-care.
Consider this: Are you prepared to reclaim your life and live it without the influence of a narcissist? Recall that you are not alone on this path.
Expert assistance can offer the direction and encouragement you require to proceed.
FAQ’s
What do you do when a narcissist ignores you?
Recognize narcissistic traits, seek professional help, address cognitive dissonance, set clear boundaries, prioritize self-care, and avoid playing their games.
What is it called when narcissists ignore you?
It’s called the narcissistic silent treatment, a form of manipulation where a narcissist ignores you to punish, control, or show dissatisfaction.
How long will a narcissist ignore you?
A narcissist will ignore you for as long as it benefits them and satisfies their need for control and narcissistic supply.
Why do narcissists ignore messages?
Narcissists ignore messages to maintain control, avoid compromise, and make the sender feel at fault or insignificant.
