The dynamics of your relationship will undoubtedly change significantly when the narcissist discovers that you have seen through their well-constructed façade.
They may use a variety of defensive tactics, such as emotional blackmail to reclaim power, gaslighting to cast doubt on your findings, or even a smear campaign to damage your reputation.
They go between being charming and being aggressive throughout this stormy time, all with the intention of weakening your willpower.
How Do They Behave?
1. Emotional Manipulation
Have you ever been the target of narcissistic behavior yourself? If so, you’ve probably experienced the emotional rollercoaster that follows.
Narcissists frequently use emotional manipulation as a weapon as soon as they detect that you are watching them. For what reason do they act in this way? It’s a power play, to put it plainly.
I’ve seen narcissists in action firsthand. They take advantage of weaknesses and manipulate every circumstance to their benefit.
The method works in a very convincing way, making victims doubt their own reality.
When I first started recognising the patterns and confronted my ex husband, he always proved that I am the problem and he is the one struggling in the relationship. He would always play around my claims and make me feel guilty for causing him pain.
Here’s what I want you to keep in mind, though: Your emotions are real. Gaining control starts with acknowledging emotional manipulation. Do not fall into their tricks and always stand firm to your stance.
2. Gaslighting
Emotional manipulation is taken a step further with gaslighting. It’s a calculated attempt to cast doubt on your senses, recollections, and sanity.
Have you ever voiced a concern only to have it laughed at or dismissed? That is an example of gaslighting.
It undermines your own and other people’s trust and is extremely destructive and unsettling. You start to doubt your own self.
Having a solid support network and a good dose of self-confidence are essential for overcoming gaslighting.
It’s about regaining confidence in your gut and accepting the world as it is.
I can’t emphasize enough how important it is to receive external affirmation from therapists, trusted family members, or friends.
We can work together to develop counter strategies against gaslighting that will strengthen your sense of self and truth perception.
3. Baiting
I’ve observed that baiting often involves provocations that are hard to ignore.
They might make outrageous statements or take actions that they know will trigger you.
The key here is not to take the bait. This is easier said than done, but maintaining emotional detachment is crucial.
Remember, their goal is to see you lose control, affirming their influence over you.
A narcissist’s first instinct when they realize you’re watching them is frequently to bait you.
You might question, though, why they do this. That’s a deliberate activity meant to make you feel something.
This strategy tries to pull you back into their chaotic world while giving them a sense of control over your emotions.
I’ve seen that provocations that are difficult to ignore are frequently a part of baiting.
They could act in a way that they know will agitate you, or they might say something absurd.
4. Smear Campaigns
When narcissists discover you’re not fooling them, they also frequently launch smear campaigns.
The goal of these campaigns is to break your trust and cut you off from your support system.
Why, though, go to such an extent? The narcissist’s fear of being discovered is the answer.
They want to preserve their façade of perfection and deflect attention from their bad conduct by humiliating you.
My recommendation? Keep your truthfulness and integrity in mind.
Though it might be tempting, taking revenge just serves to strengthen the narcissist’s position.
Rather, rely on your network of support and seek expert advice to get through this difficulty.
5. Fear
One of the main strategies used by narcissists when they sense you’ve seen past their façade is dread.
Why fear, you might wonder? This is due to the fact that fear is a strong feeling that is easy to influence.
They are aware that you are more likely to submit to their control if they can instill fear in you.
From what I’ve seen, this dread isn’t limited to danger to the body; it also frequently involves the fear of losing something important, like one’s peace of mind, connections, or reputation.
How would you respond to this? It’s critical to realize that their fear is a reflection of their vulnerabilities.
They fear being discovered, being out of control, and not being the focus of attention. Knowing this will enable you to maintain your ground.
6. Projection
Another trick narcissists employ when they sense you’re watching them is projection.
But in this case, what precisely is projection? It occurs when a narcissist accuses you of committing the same offenses as them.
This assaults your integrity and sense of self, which can be hurtful and perplexing.
Maintaining a strong sense of self is, in my professional opinion, the greatest method to deal with projection.
Become rooted in your ideals and truth. Documenting exchanges and discussions is beneficial because, in times of delusion, it can act as a reality check.
7. Triangulation
Triangulation is one of the narcissist’s go-to tactics when they know you’ve noticed them.
For what reason do they act in this way? It’s a ploy to plant doubt seeds, incite envy, and destabilize you.
They foster an environment of rivalry and insecurity when they include a third party in the dynamics, be it a family member, a coworker, or just another person they flirt with.
How do you handle it? Acknowledge it for what it is: a last-ditch effort to take back control.
8. Discarding
One of the most agonizing strategies a narcissist uses when they realize you’re seeing them is probably discarding.
This sudden breakup, which frequently leaves you feeling broken, bewildered, and distraught, might leave you feeling bereaved.
However, let me tell you something very important: the trash is a testament to their incapacity to empathize with you on a more profound level rather than a reflection of your value.
What kind of response is appropriate? First and foremost, give yourself permission to be sad.
Next, begin the process of healing by getting back in touch with who you truly are and the people who truly care about you.
Accept this as a chance to develop and discover happier, better connections.
Do Not Let Them Know That You Know
It’s important to comprehend narcissists’ mentalities.
Their sense of superiority, whether it be intelligence, slyness, or control, greatly increases their power over you.
When they perceive that you are not fooled by their act, they frequently turn to more drastic tactics to hold onto the relationship, such as coercion, threats, or even physical violence.
This intensification may have negative effects on your bodily and emotional health.
I would advise you to carefully consider your next course of action while keeping your newly discovered insights to yourself.
This is not a dishonesty tactic; rather, it’s a safeguard to defend your security and psychological well-being.
It involves getting in touch with a support system, securely packing your belongings, and quietly arranging your departure, all without letting the narcissist know about it.
Many people are acquainted with the term “going no contact,” and if you are safely removed from the scenario, I often recommend using this method.
In order to stop the narcissist from manipulating you any further, you must cut off all communication.
What To Do When They Find Out?
1. Set Clear Boundaries
Setting clear limits is crucial since that’s when the narcissist will know you’ve seen right through their behavior.
Why is this important to know? It’s about making it obvious that you’re no longer a piece in their game and protecting your mental health.
Setting boundaries is more than just saying “no”; it’s about establishing your boundaries, your principles, and your entitlement to be treated with dignity.
2. Deny Them a Second Chance
It’s human nature to wish for the best for the people we love, yet giving a narcissist another chance frequently results in the abuse cycle returning.
In my opinion, it’s important to avoid giving someone another chance to hurt you once you’ve recognized their narcissistic tendencies.
This choice isn’t about harboring resentment; rather, it’s about accepting the hard fact that genuine change in a narcissist is uncommon and that you need to put your health first.
Even though it could be challenging, going forward without them is a step in the direction of a happy, healthier you.
3. Seek Professional Support
Seeking professional support is essential when the narcissist comes clean and realizes you’re on to them.
Why is seeking professional advice so important right now? First of all, it offers a secure environment in which you can work with the difficult feelings and unconscious trauma you may have experienced.
A counselor or therapist who specializes in treating narcissistic abuse might provide non-obvious insights and coping techniques.
You will need this support to re-establish your identity and deal with the fallout from such a relationship.
Final Verdict
The journey is not without difficulties, but it also serves as evidence of how resilient the human spirit can be.
The first step to freedom and healing is realizing the harmful tendencies.
What happens next, though? How can you take back your life and identity? The route involves setting firm boundaries, preventing the narcissist from hurting you in the future, and, above all, seeking expert advice in order to recover and advance.
Recall that discovering the real nature of a narcissist is not the end but rather the start of a path toward recovery and self-empowerment.
FAQ’s
What does a narcissist do when they know you know?
A narcissist will try to emotionally manipulate you, using guilt, fear, or pity to undermine your perceptions and keep you entangled in their web of control.
What happens when a narcissist realizes what they are?
Often, individuals who recognize their narcissistic tendencies are victims of narcissistic abuse themselves, misled to believe they are the flawed ones due to their selfish behaviors, which may stem from the abuse.
What happens when a narcissist becomes aware?
Upon becoming aware of their condition, narcissists may initially reject the idea but could eventually believe in the possibility of change, driven by a fervent desire to alter their behavior.
How does the narcissist react when he realizes you no longer care?
When a narcissist senses you’ve detached, they might either withdraw and seek validation elsewhere or engage in vindictive actions like smear campaigns to protect their ego and affect your reputation.
