Why are some of us always pulled into the orbit of people who want to dominate and manipulate us despite our best efforts? The question challenges us to investigate the patterns of attraction that connect compassionate and empathic people with covert narcissists.
Finding out what characteristics covert narcissists find appealing is the first step to taking back your emotional independence and creating a better route for your relationships.
Kinds People That Covert Narcissists Are Drawn To
1. Empathetic Individuals
Have you ever thought about why covert narcissists tend to be drawn to compassionate people? Empathetic people provide the deep comprehension and constant support that covert narcissists long for.
Because of this relationship, the narcissist’s wants are continuously met, which wears out the empath and makes them an ideal target for manipulation.
Empaths have a unique ability to see past outward appearances and frequently feel driven to help or heal other people.
Narcissists in disguise take advantage of this quality by portraying themselves as broken people in need of healing.
However, this is a skillfully constructed illusion meant to trap and hold on to power.
I frequently counsel clients to set boundaries that safeguard their mental health by helping them to understand their worth and the unbalanced nature of these kinds of relationships.
2. Strong Independent People
It’s surprising to learn that people with a strong sense of independence are also attractive to covert narcissists.
You might wonder why. The narcissist’s desire to be linked with someone successful to improve their perception of themselves is what causes this attraction.
The accomplishments of the independent person become a ready supply for narcissism, and the narcissist does not have to work hard to get it.
However, as the covert narcissist tries to establish control and dominance, the relationship frequently changes into one in which the achievements of the independent spouse are minimized.
I urge those involved in these kinds of situations to identify these trends. The road to emancipation is the recognition of your capabilities and the deceptive strategies used to undermine them.
You may take charge of your life and move toward a healthier future by being more prepared to handle the difficulties presented by covert narcissists by being aware of their attractions.
3. Individuals who Lack Emotional Self-Control
Weak emotional boundaries make people easier to manipulate because they find it difficult to say no or to protect their personal space from others.
Covert narcissists take advantage of this weakness. They know how to cross these lines and participate in other people’s lives and choices.
They enjoy manipulating and controlling their relationships to suit their whims, frequently in the pretense of showing care or affection.
Because the partner can’t set clear limits, the narcissist can keep manipulating without fear of repercussions.
I want to clarify to individuals struggling with this that setting and upholding boundaries is crucial.
It’s about creating boundaries between you and others and knowing what behavior from them is appropriate and inappropriate.
4. Kind and Caring Individuals
Why do people with good intentions frequently end up as the targets of narcissistic figures? I think it’s their natural capacity to love without conditions.
These people exude kindness and warmth, which covert narcissists take advantage of in order to satisfy their want for recognition and attention.
A good-hearted individual frequently looks past appearances in an effort to see the good in everyone.
Though commendable, this characteristic leaves them especially open to manipulation by covert narcissists, who disguise their genuine motivations behind the charm and a façade of sensitivity.
The narcissist takes advantage of the good-hearted person’s disposition, which frequently results in a one-sided partnership in which the donor’s demands are continuously unfulfilled.
I support being thoughtful in your giving if you have a loving and compassionate heart.
It’s critical to discern when someone is abusing or taking advantage of your compassion. Establishing limits demonstrates that you value your mental and emotional well-being just as much as your physical well-being.
Are you Attracted To a Covert Narcissist?
It’s a trend that can be extremely upsetting and confusing. However, what attracts them to you or you to them? Let’s investigate this and, more importantly, determine what has to be changed.
First off, do you frequently find yourself drawn to people who are deceptive and self-centered behind their lovely façade? Unresolved childhood traumas or unhealed scars are frequently the source of this attraction.
Unknowingly, a lot of us look for comfortable dynamics in our adult relationships, even when those dynamics are destructive.
You may inadvertently lean toward narcissistic tendencies in partners if your parent or early caregiver exhibited them, confusing control with a need for affection and attention.
Furthermore, how you see yourself is really important. Do you put your sense of worth on the approval and views of others?
The early passion and admiration from a covert narcissist can be tempting for someone with low self-esteem, who may mistake it for real love and caring.
This is a trap, though. The “love” of the narcissist is conditional; it is not meant to build a respectful, reciprocal relationship but rather to fulfill their demands.
How, therefore, may this loop be broken? Self-analysis and pattern recognition are the first steps in the process.
The important thing is to know your value regardless of other people’s approval. Your needs, limits, and overall well-being should not be neglected in a partnership; they should be prioritized.
Establishing and upholding strict boundaries is crucial. A covert narcissist will constantly push these limits. It is your duty and right to stand up for and defend your psychological and emotional territory.
Getting expert assistance might also be quite beneficial.
In a secure setting, therapy or coaching can help you investigate your inclinations, comprehend their causes, and create relationships-healthier strategies. It’s a path of self-love and respect that builds relationships based on respect and caring for one another.
Remember that the first step in making a change is acknowledging the pattern. It is your right and strength to look for connections that strengthen and encourage you rather than make you feel less of a person.
Final Verdict
Recognizing the attraction between oneself and a covert narcissist reveals a road paved with conditional love and emotional blackmail.
Many of us, without realizing it, set out on this trip because of unresolved emotional scars or a deep-seated need for approval.
It’s a challenge as well as a chance for personal development to realize that these unresolved issues may be the reason we find ourselves drawn to or attracting covert narcissists.
Now that we know our weaknesses and what covert narcissists are looking for, we can make a difference.
FAQ’s
What do covert narcissists want in a relationship?
Covert narcissists seek constant reassurance, aim to manipulate for control, and strive to dominate the relationship dynamics.
How do you impress a covert narcissist?
To captivate a covert narcissist, present yourself attractively, alternate between being accessible and distant, exhibit a hint of arrogance, portray yourself as highly desirable, encourage their pursuit, engage in your own interests, limit compliments, and maintain emotional distance.
Does a covert narcissist love anyone?
A covert narcissist’s affection is typically brief and conditional, lacking the depth required for sustained, meaningful relationships.
Who do covert narcissists target?
Contrary to popular belief, covert narcissists are drawn to individuals who are confident, successful, attractive, and have strong personalities, rather than those who are perceived as weak or vulnerable.
